We’ve reached another holiday season, and I’m a bit forlorn. As of this writing, I expected to be feted as a fellow with the International Blogging Institute at a ceremony in Newark, New Jersey. But…NEWS FLASH…it appears that there’s no such thing as the International Blogging Institute; it was a con to liberate me of $250 (made all the more painful by a favorable exchange rate in Nigeria). On the plus side, the Red Roof Inn was cool about refunding my deposit, and the number of Internet scams that I fall prey to has been steadily trending downward. Of course, while Christmas brings family get-togethers, the delight of children unwrapping presents, and the consumption of delicious baked goods, it also features trips to the mall that require me to park in a different zip code; incessant Christmas tunes that only served to remind me that, after 30-something years and thousands of listens, I still can’t remember the lyrics; me accidentally knocking over a mannequin at REI in front of dozens of people, mistaking it for a real person, and apologizing profusely to an inanimate object, compounding my embarrassment; and luxury car commercials with announcers that sounds like the snobbiest asshole I knew in high school crossed with the snobbiest asshole I knew in college crossed with an actual luxury car salesman. Late December also brings those year-in-review features where the top whatever from the past year is listed. Whatever, indeed. Do you really need to be told that the top Internet search was for Robin Williams, the story of the year was the Ebola epidemic, or that the best state for doing business in 2014 was Utah?

Yet, despite all of the little aggravations associated with this time of year (that, ahem, seem curiously specific to myself), there is no evidence to support that depression, anxiety and suicide rates rise during the holiday season. According to New York University’s Langone Medical Center, it’s mostly a fabrication. Sure, there is some stress and exhaustion inextricably linked with shopping, dealing with family, and travelling, but the discomfort is short-lived and not enough to significantly move the needle in most people. The primary culprit in this myth is the media, which has perpetuated the false link for years now. We do the rest by taking this facile explanation and running with it. If anything, depression around this time of year is more closely linked to seasonal affective disorder, a malaise linked to the short, dark, cold days of winter. In fact, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Center for Health Statistics report that suicide rates are actually at their lowest during the winter months and spike during the spring for reasons unclear. Apparently, people who have committed suicide couldn’t be reached for comment.

In short, conventional “wisdom” can suck it. I know, this knowledge isn’t going to help you untangle that rat’s nest of lights, stop your dog from knocking over the Christmas tree, or get you through that DUI checkpoint, but…huh. This time of year is pretty unbearable.