The spark, as they say, is gone. My love affair with sports has long since reached its fever pitch and, like many a failing relationship, it’s now sustained by fleeting (albeit glorious) memories: the epic 2004 American League Championship Series. Flutie-to-Phelan. Jimmy Connors’ improbable run to the 1991 US Open semis. The 1986 Celtics only losing games out of boredom. I know, death by sports nostalgia isn’t a pretty way to go. But my level of fandom has dropped precipitously over the last couple years. Much like with the decline of my beloved Patriots, I denied what was happening for awhile. But I’m in full-on “Eh” mode these days when it comes to even the biggest sporting events. What gives? Turns out, plenty.

Seen it all before. The dirty little secret no one tells you when you’re young is that, come your mid-30s, life holds very few surprises. You’ve racked up enough life experience that — short of a devastating medical diagnosis or an inheritance from a long-lost uncle — you know the drill when it comes to day-to-day life (kind of a double-edged sword). Same goes for sports. There’s a finite number of times you can witness the same situation before the drama slowly drains away. A good example? The NBA’s Slam Dunk contest. What used to be the single most exciting act in all of sports is now met with whining about its staleness; for many media types and fans, it is literally a chore to sit through. There’s nothing novel about dunking anymore; even the “inventive” dunks are simply flashier versions of something done before. I share that ennui, and it’s spread to other sports for me. Tie game, bottom of the ninth, full count? Whatever, the batter may get a hit, he may strike out, or zzzzzz… There’s probably some complicated scientific explanation involving synapses and brain waves for why I don’t get fired up about this stuff anymore, but the answer can probably be found in a mathematical equation… I’ve been following sports since I was 7…there are 82 games in an NBA season, 16 in the NFL, 162 in baseball, and then there’s college sports…Christ, it’s amazing that sports have held my attention this long. And Holy shit, have I wasted a chunk of my life watching sports.

Too many outlets. Between the various ESPN channels, the Fox, NBC and CBS Sports Networks and their associated online entities, blogs and sports radio, the options for sports providers seem limitless. There are soccer, tennis and extreme sports networks.  And with so many outlets, it’s become increasingly niche-oriented — there’s a lot of space to fill, after all. ESPN shows high school and college football. Entire programs are devoted to fantasy sports. The NFL combine is televised. It’s an embarrassment of riches. While this may seem like Utopia for the sports fan, in many ways it’s not. Back in the Dark Ages when there were but three major networks, televised sporting events — while certainly not a novelty — were much scarcer. A college basketball doubleheader on CBS was appointment television for me. Now, it seems like there’s a college basketball quadrupleheader on ESPN2 daily, SportsCenter runs on a continuous loop, and NFL Sunday Ticket functions as sports porn for many. With breathless TV, online and  print coverage, there’s little mystery to our athletes or the inner workings of organizations anymore. I know, we sports fans eat this stuff up, and now look at me complaining. Sports have become for me what the Statue of Liberty is to New Yorkers: still a treasure, but it’s always there…so the appreciation isn’t quite what it should be.

Sports became less about sports. Not long ago, the focal point of sports was the actual games. Then, along came fantasy sports – the perfect marriage of nerdiness and fandom (DISCLAIMER: I’ve had my share of fantasy teams). Fantasy football and baseball have reached epic levels of popularity: there are multiple TV shows and journalists devoted to the subject and who hasn’t been subjected to a pointless fantasy football story on at least one occasion? I even have a friend who was in an XFL fantasy league. Talk about a sentence I never thought I’d type. Now, it seems we can’t analyze a player without mentioning his fantasy value. Of course, the sports leagues love it, because it draws fans even deeper into the fold. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with fantasy sports, it does get tiresome to constantly hear about the fantasy “implications” for a running back’s 3-TD effort…and, I could do without the pointless, meandering stories of friends about the fake teams they manage. Perhaps most irritating to me has been the evolution of March Madness. Used to be that diehards would fill out their brackets, then skip work/class to watch the early rounds, stress over their picks, etc. Then, somewhere along the way, it became trendy to fill out a bracket. Now, I’m not opposed to people participating in anything sports-related, but…how to put this gently…lots of people that haven’t watched even five minutes of college basketball all season enter pools now. And yes, we’ve all been victimized by the basketball neophyte who’s made her picks according to the appeal of the uniforms. But I digress. The NCAA tourney should be an orgy of athletic competition where fans can veg out and hopefully catch some great games. Instead, it’s less, “Didja see that great play?!” and more, “Ha! I’ve gone 11-3 so far in this round!” Truth be told, March Madness was ruined for me the second they expanded the field, but still.