A veritable smorgasbord of things that have been gnawing away at me recently. And yes, I did spend about five minutes unsuccessfully attempting to find on the keyboard how to place the diacritics in the word “smorgasbord.” And yes, I spent another two minutes looking up what the two dots and the circle are called.

Take the “Gov” off? Why is presidential candidate Mitt Romney referred to as “governor,” a job he hasn’t held for five years? I know there’s some mumbo-jumbo about it being a lifetime title of respect, but really, shouldn’t the practice be reserved only for former presidents? I guess the sniff test for this would be if he were running for president say, 15 years after he left the governor’s office. Would he still be referred to as Governor Romney? Doubtful. Furthermore, the guy served a SINGLE TERM! Let’s drop the phony title.

Is this change I can believe in? I could go on until 2015 about the amazing technology available to us in 2012. And yet…what’s the deal with the automatic bill loader? You know, the thing that sucks up your paper money at vending machines and the self checkout at the grocery store? Why is it that if my dollar has even a millimeter-sized fold at one corner, it’s slipped right back to me? This ensures a furious half-minute of that flattening routine or a frantic search for a worthy bill followed by a hopeful “C’mon, help me out!” glance at the slot. The thing is like a finicky bouncer at the trendiest club in Manhattan, only letting those with the right look in on a whim. Why has the technology on these things not progressed beyoind 1987?

What the hell, Zach Braff?! The star of one of my favorit e TV shows ever, Scrubs, is MIA. One measly feature film credit since 2007 and a few TV appearances since Scrubs waved buh bye in 2010 does not a career make. He is doing voicework in the upcoming Oz: The Great and Powerful, but it’s tough to tell if he’s in the midst of a career swoon or just taking an extended break after the grind of nine years on a sitcom. Either way, somebody needs to find a good vehicle for the uber-talent…stat.