It’s nothing new under the Hawaiian sun that the NFL Pro Bowl has, for years, failed miserably to achieve its main objective: to entertain fans (that sentence may be an early contender for Understatement of 2012). For as long as my NFL memory stretches, the game has at its best been watchable for about a quarter; then the novelty of watching the NFL’s best and the brightest half-ass it on the same field inevitably wears off. In recent years, the league has tinkered with the game, switching venues (Miami for a couple of years) and moving it from its post-Super Bowl spot to the week before the big game. Neither move generated as much buzz as the spectacularly awful effort put forth by many participants in the 2012 game. Almost inconceivably, fans booed. So, beyond the lackluster play owing to a combination of players not wanting to risk injury and their unfamiliarity of playing with one another, why else is the Pro Bowl an annual suckfest?

– On a purely speculative level, I think fans have always resented watching millionaire athletes enjoy a free trip to Hawaii while fans trudged through the most onerous part of winter – mind you, I have zero research to back that claim up.

– The game is sandwiched between the conference championship games and the Super Bowl, obviously the most tension-filled, meaningful games of the season. Not that the Pro Bowl ever meant anything, but the juxtaposition merely highlights its frivolity.

– By moving the game to its current spot on the calendar, the two Super Bowl squads are, of course, precluded from sending their players to Honolulu. And considering the fact that these are the two best teams in the NFL, that’s quite a few stars missing from what’s supposed to be a gathering of the best players. So, what to do?

1.) Take a cue from the NHL. The NHL has tinkered with their format in the past, pitting international players versus North Americans and, most recently, holding a “fantasy draft” wherein the captains pick their squads a la gym class. Hell, why not pit the first-timers against the repeat selections?  The point is, there’s no sanctity to protect in the Pro Bowl – why not have a little fun with it?

2.) Pros versus college stars. This formula would never get past the spitballing phase, but it would be fascinating to see a team of future high rounders go at it against their future co-workers. Yes, heaven forbid an injury occur to one of the college players so close to the draft, and the game likely wouldn’t be competitive…but it would grab a lot of eyeballs.

3.) Treat it like the joke it is. Why not have Will Ferrell and Jerry Seinfeld serve as celebrity coaches? Mike ’em up and enjoy watching the facade slowly crack on Belichick.

4.) Cancel the game. Okay, this will never happen because shockingly, the game actually gets decent ratings. However, this year’s Pro Bowl was so rife with apathy that Roger Goodell has at least thrown the option on the table. Just being named to the team and not actually going to the trouble of, you know, having to put forth any effort has to sound intriguing to more than a few players.