The “random thoughts” column has been around for awhile. Normally given a moniker like “odds & ends” or “clearing out the desk drawer,” it’s basically an excuse for a columnist to throw out a bunch of disjointed observations and opinions in lieu of actually expending the energy to craft a coherent piece. It seems that just about every well-known columnist in the country has drifted toward this practice. Mind you, I don’t dislike this format; I generally find it an enjoyable read. So, why should they have all the fun? Here’s my stab at a series of wry musings.

-With all the talk about how to speed up games in various sports, someone needs to explain to me why we they send trainers onto the field for injured players in NFL games. In soccer, they are quick to send out a stretcher, remove the player from the field and get on with the game. Why don’t they just send a cart out for the guy who’s hurt, take him off and tend to him on the sidelines, no exceptions?

-I caught Woody Allen’s latest, “Midnight in Paris,” the other night. Twenty minutes in I was reminded yet again that a dementia-stricken Allen on his deathbed could compose a better script than 95% of the current crop of Hollywood hacks. What a genius.

-I could shut down the Internet with a list of the grammatically incorrect phrases that annoy me, but “Maybe, maybe not” is the absolute worst of ’em all. For those of you scoring at home, ‘maybe’ indicate that something could happen, so ‘maybe not’ is just redundant.

-There are 35 postseason bowl games this year, which can only mean one thing: the tired complaint that there are too many meaningless games. Huh? How is it a problem that there is more football on TV? So what if it’s a couple of 7-5 directional schools going head to head in the Tampax Bowl? I fail to see how having a random football game on the Tuesday after Christmas when there otherwise would not be is a problem. And, if you want to nitpick, all of the bowl games are meaningless- save for one.

-Things That Must Be Stopped, Part I: Press releases announcing that Hot Female Celebrity X will be posing nude – wait for it – for a PETA ad. Not cool.

-I didn’t quit Facebook over the seemingly endless design changes. Quite the contrary. I grew weary of my friends who posted the same things over and over. You know who I’m talking about: Doting Parent. Guy Who Cannot Stop Expressing His Political Views. Workplace Complainer. And my favorite: Guy With College Degree Whose Vocabulary Never Rose Above That of a 12-Year-Old.

-Things That Must Be Stopped, Part II: It’s astonishing how many Mexican restaurants serve horrible salsa. Isn’t this at least in the top 5 of things you focus on before you open your doors?!

-Friends of mine recently had a child who experienced complications that required hospitalization. On the Facebook page of one of the parents, there were 28 comments of support with some variation on prayer and positive thoughts for the outcome. Why is it that not one person wrote that they were sure the doctors were providing great care for the child? Or am I reading too much into this?